Carpe Diem

Take a moment. Breathe. Experience an instant (or several) of simply being. Here. Now. Because that's all we have -- nows. (And heres.)

And in the now in which you currently find yourself, think of something you have been putting off. Something you've been meaning to do but haven't gotten to it because "life interfered." Something good for yourself, or for your family, or your friends or your community -- local to global. Doesn't have to be a huge thing. It could be using kiva.org to lend $50 or $100 to a third world entrepreneur. Maybe it's calling your grandmother or going to yoga or starting bridge lessons.

In the next now that comes along, either do that thing or make a plan to.

Why? Because every thing that has a beginning has an end. Our allotment of nows and heres is limited. The ration of time set aside for my dear friend and neighbor Bill McLeod has ended, suddenly, and far sooner than any who knew him wanted.

Bill had been in ill health due to anemia caused by myelodysplasia for some months now, requiring almost weekly transfusions to maintain something even approaching a normal level of energy. (Myelodysplasia prevents the marrow from making enough red blood cells.) After Bill's wife died of cancer two and a half years ago, we tried to make sure Bill had some fun: we took him to shows and such and often had him to dinner, especially when he became sick himself. When he cooks, Bob likes to leave enough for leftovers, so we'd call and like as not, he'd come and share our platter of barbecued chicken or lamb chops or sole. I remembered how much it meant to my mom when -- coming home after a long day helping my dad in the family business, plus running her own -- she would pull into the driveway and see our neighbor, Mrs. Gundlach, beckoning my mom from her kitchen window. She'd have made too much of something (which happened most nights -- her name is Gundlach, after all) and would we like to come over and help her get rid of it?

Bob said it was a mitzvah -- we were doing something good for someone. A somewhat less than random act of kindness.

After dinner, we'd often watch a DVD. Bill worked in publicity for independent films, so he'd have DVDs of interesting small films, or interesting things to say about the more widely-distributed movies we'd watch. We'd talk about what was up with his daughter, Alanna. She just got engaged, and was planning a wedding at some vague future date (her fiance is still in vet school), until a co-worker convinced her to enter a radio contest called "Bliss or Diss." One person wins a wedding (bliss), the other wins a vacation to get away after dumping their onetime squeeze (diss). Yes, Alanna won -- which meant the bonus of having a 150-person wedding paid for, but also meant her wedding date was fixed. May 17. Knowing that Bill was sick, I thought maybe a little haste wouldn't be a bad thing. I never expected even that wasn't fast enough for Bill.

Which brings us back to you. And my admonition to look for the joy in your life and embrace it. Because it's fleeting, life.

One of my favorite movies is "Groundhog Day." The Bill Murray pic where he relives the same day over and over, seemingly for a near-eternity. An initial shock is followed by a predictable indulging of all passions once he discovers he has the information needed to get away with almost anything. Except with Andie McDowell's character. She won't fall in love with him. No matter what approach he tries, what skill he acquires to seduce her. It's only when he stops trying to impress and decides to simply be himself that she finally falls for him. And the clock radio finally gets unstuck and plays something besides "I Got You Babe."

Bill learns that ultimately he has to be his authentic self, because time is limitless. The lesson for us is that just the opposite is true: we might as well be who we are, at our core, because time is limited.

So go, be good to yourself. Or to someone else. Or both.

Today's Etsy Find

So elegant, so classic, yet so contemporary. Just gorgeous. Would love to see it in person. The "stone" is actually glass. $155. I love the outlet for talent that Etsy provides.

Handedness? Who Knows?

Here's an interesting piece from The Washington Post about the causes of handedness, as well as its cultural and evolutionary implications.

Money quote: "Among the Eipo people in the Indonesian province of Irian Jaya, where the homicide rate is 3 per 1,000 people per year, 20 percent of people are left-handed. Among the Dioula people of Burkina Faso, where the homicide rate is 0.01, 3 percent are left-handed. This does not mean that lefties are more violent. It means that in violent societies, lefties may fare better."

And, just like sexuality, no one knows exactly what determines handedness, but the current consensus is that it's a combination of genetics, environment and culture.

Oh, the horror!

At least someone is facing up to the damage same-sex marriage is causing.

Why Marriage Matters

He married his dream girl...but she had bad credit, so he's stuck, too.

Which points us to one of the responsibilities of civil marriage -- shared responsibility for debt. Which is an overall benefit to society, no matter what gender the two partners are. When you take on that responsibility, it is an incentive to watch over your spouse and make sure they make wise decisions, which ultimately helps us all.

Those Poor, Tortured Figs

These were distributed at an event where Fred Phelps's Westboro Baptist Church (the "God Hates Fags" people) were demonstrating.

Don't Try This at Home

Here's a new pet peeve for me -- unnecessary warnings on TV commercials. You know the ones I'm talking about: a tiny "do not attempt" as a warning to the mentally deficient who might think it's a bright idea to drop a refrigerator from their apartment or jump from one rooftop to another.

But this one?



I mean, if you have the money to buy several dozen washing machines and rent a monster truck, I say attempt it all you want. (The version above doesn't have the "do not attempt" warning, but it did appear in the broadcast version.)

But this may top them all:



"Closed course"? I would think. If you have the wherewithal to get yourself to the moon, with your moon buggy, no less, tear it up all you want.

Pay TV

The thought occurs to me from time to time, especially when my local PBS station airs yet another of Andre Rieu's concerts, or broadcasts another installment of Dr. Wayne Dyer's self-esteem fests -- why the hell am I paying for this? Not in contributions, because I don't donate anymore, but in taxes. Why should Americans pay anything to "public" TV? It's not that PBS doesn't produce some great shows. "Sesame Street" and "Charlie Rose" come to mind. But other than that, I'm not sure it's a wise use of public funds to try and predict what will be of value to Americans in terms of television programming. Let's leave that to the private sector.

It seems I'm not alone. This article on Salon.com makes a similar point.

Rush Limbaugh as Coyote?

Click here for an interesting take on the appeal of Rush Limbaugh. It's a sort of Joseph Campbell-esque/Jungian take; ultimately, Rush is a trickster, a shit-disturber, not unlike Coyote in Native American myths. He appeals to the shadow side of human nature.

Money quote:

"Like Sarah Palin, his spiritual bride, he lurks in the shadow of the human psyche, expressing the dark anger, resentment, jealousy, and vindictiveness that society can never escape. And yet, the next time you tune into Limbaugh's censorious circus of insensitive scurrility, give him a kind thought. As far back as Mark Twain, the American character has been ornery. We secretly love rascals, bank robbers, tricksters, swindlers, hell raisers, and outlaws. And when we feel so inclined, we laugh at them. Rush Limbaugh may represent a toxic form of entertainment -- and the bile he spews bears no resemblance to true morality -- but the fact that America makes room for him is something to be proud of. I don't pray that he goes away. I pray that we can keep laughing, even if our grin is crooked, at the pranks of the eternal shadow who is our companion for life, whether we want him or not."

Real Estate Porn 2

Not that I'd really want to live in Los Banos, but I'd love to live in a Frank Lloyd Wright house. This one is apparently one of only two Wright homes currently for sale. Price? $2.7 million. Six bedrooms, five baths on 80 acres.

If you can't afford nearly $3 million, you can always rent.

Religion Shouts Louder, Is Heard Less

According to a new survey, religious affiliation in America has declined significantly since 1990. No major religion has seen an increase in membership (except for Islam, whose percentage of adherents doubled from 0.3% to 0.6%), and those professing no religion has skyrocketed from 8.2% of population to 15%.

Why is this? Why, in such uncertain times, with so much chaos and confusion in the world, do people turn away from what professes to be the solution to it all? My guess is that religion has focused so much on political power, turning away from its core principles of love and forgiveness, choosing to focus instead on internecine squabbles and demonizing others that they have turned off their followers. The Catholic church has focused on protecting pedophile priests and encouraging HIV transmission by fighting condom use, and the evangelicals have sealed themselves off behind walls of hatred from which they cast their stones at sinful outsiders (such as myself), that more and more people find their professions of love to be disingenuous.

Thoughts on Yesterday's Hearings

I had the chance to see only a small bit of the oral arguments before the California Supreme Court yesterday, but I've read some of the coverage following it, and the consensus seems clear: the court will likely uphold Proposition 8, but not invalidate the 18,000 same-sex marriages that took place during that brief time when it was legal for same-sex couples to marry.

Although the Court will not hand down their decision for another 90 days, if the consensus is correct, I have to say I'm not entirely disappointed. Although I hate the idea of a majority being able to strip rights from a minority, I'm confident that sometime in the next ten years a majority of Californians will vote to repeal Proposition 8. We simply have to continue to educate people that same-sex marriage is good for California, good for America and good for marriage. We also have to wait for a few of the most die-hard opponents to equality (primarily seniors) to stop voting. As more and more young people come in to the ranks of voters, we will be able to achieve the majority we need.

I suppose it's possible that recent suits (or those still to be filed) will make it to the US Supreme Court, but I would far prefer that we win equality at the ballot box. Andrew Sullivan said it well, as usual.

Here is another interesting point of view, this time from a major paper in the South. Money quote: "The religious right was right after all. Civil unions have weakened the institution of marriage. But gay people aren't to blame -- straight people are."

Two Related Stories

I don't mind having a debate on issues where the wisest course of action is unclear, and open, intelligent discourse can help illuminate the best path to a desired outcome. That's assuming the desired outcome is one shared by all parties in the debate. For example, if we are debating how best to handle dealing with a crazy dictator somewhere, no discourse -- no matter how intelligent -- is going to be effective if one party wants to achieve freedom through democracy and another wants to maintain a chaotic structure in order to further their own ends. But if, for example, we all share the goal of a democratic, self-governing state in Iraq, our debate about how to achieve that goal can be much more productive.

However, there are issues where the right thing to do seems so clear, that I am surprised there has to be any debate at all. Same-sex marriage is one of these. Our Constitution establishes equal treatment under the law. Gay couples do not currently have equal access to the benefits of civil marriage. The right thing to do is to extend equality. It doesn't hurt heterosexual couples. It doesn't impinge on religious freedom as it's entirely a civil matter. So why is there even an argument about this?

Another subject where the solution seems crystal clear (at least to me) is drug laws. I know there are people still alive who were around during Prohibition. Has no one learned that lesson that even though a substance might have deleterious effects, if it alters consciousness in a way people experience as pleasurable or desirable that it's almost impossible to stop them from seeking it out? And that leaving the production and distribution of that substance in the hands of a criminal element only leads to more crime?

The Drug War has failed. Miserably. One of its especially miserable side effects is that one in 31 Americans is currently under the control (or attempted control) of the criminal justice system. This is from a new Pew study, which you can read more about here. In Federal prisons, more than half the inmates are jailed for drug offenses. In state prisons, about 20% of inmates are incarcerated for drug crimes.

What's the solution? Well, for marijuana at least, it seems the height of foolishness not to legalize/decriminalize its use, and to regulate and tax its production, sale and distribution. By any measure, marijuana is less harmful than any other legal or illegal drug. It's impossible to overdose, it is not physiologically addictive, and it has several health benefits, including reducing the effects of glaucoma and possibly staving off Alzheimer's. It's also one of the best anti-nausea remedies available.

This is why California legislator Tom Ammiano has introduced legislation to decriminalize and regulate and tax marijuana. Marijuana cultivation and sales is California's biggest agricultural business -- yet the people of the state receive no benefit from it because it's not taxed. Ammiano estimates the state could rake in more than $1 billion in tax revenue from his proposal.

And that's not even figuring in the reduced costs for law enforcement if pot were legalized. Imagine if we didn't have to let violent criminals out of jail because there isn't enough room in our prisons. Imagine if cops had more time to focus on property crimes because they weren't pre-occupied by trying to find and arrest pot growers and users.

Of course, some of the criminal element involved in the marijuana trade might have a hard time finding honest work if their criminal activity ceased to be profitable. (Though many of those growing marijuana are doing so strictly for personal use.) But if they stepped into other areas of criminal behavior, there'd be more cops to deal with that bad behavior because they weren't dealing with drug "crime."

It seems so logical and common-sense -- why aren't we doing it?

Everything's Amazing, Nobody's Happy

Hysterical.

$HOO,OOO,OOO,OPE!

I saw that online earlier this evening, in a discussion board. Don't know where it's from, but it's pretty effective satire.

Paula West at The Rrazz Room

We're just about at the mid-point of Paula West's seven-week run in San Francisco. I wish I'd gotten to the Rrazz Room earlier, so you'd have more time to plan an evening with this incredibly honest and powerful singer. But that means you still have three weeks to take advantage of this opportunity.

I'd seen West a year ago, in the same venue. But on that night, I think I was so taken by her trio of backup singers that I didn't get the full impact of what this woman brings to the stage. When she feels a song -- and she seems to feel all of them -- she doesn't let that feeling go. She spends time with it, and searches for a way to share it with you. It's almost like she's a hostess, inviting you in to share the song with her -- the way she knows it.

She started with "New World Coming" (made famous by Nina Simone and Mama Cass Elliott), which resonated nicely after tonight's speech to Congress by President Obama.

But it was the second tune she and the George Mesterhazy Quartet played that really hooked me: an amazing version of "The Beat Goes On." The way she played with the beat during the refrain, "drums keep poundin' rhythm to the brain" was absolutely magical.

She also does terrific versions of "Gentle On My Mind," some Rodgers and Hart and a Cole Porter song I'd never heard before, "You've Got That Thing," that includes healthy dollops of the Porter wit:

"You've got what Adam craved when he
With love for Eve was tortured
She only had an apple tree
But you, you've got an orchard

You've got those ways, those taking ways
That make me rush off to Cartier's
For a wedding ring, you've got that thing"

When she puts her stamp on Dylan's "The Times They Are a-Changin'," you'll hear the song in ways you never have. She sings it as if she could change the world herself, just with this one song, on this one night, singing it for just one person: you. Her "Brother Can You Spare a Dime?" is heartfelt without being sappy and she brings out all the pain of a once-lush, now dessicated, love in Lennon & McCartney's "For No One."

Plus the band behind her is worth listening to all on their own. Especially pianist and arranger Goerge Mesterhazy.

If you live in the Bay Area, go. She'll be at The Rrazz Room until March 22. If you don't live in the Bay Area, get here. (Although she also plays New York with some regularity -- if memory serves, at The Oak Room at The Algonquin. Here's what the New York Times had to say about her rendition of two of my favorites from the show:

"The peppy martial pulse of “The Beat Goes On,” the 1967 Sonny and Cher anthem for flower children, has been atomized and turned into polyrhythmic jazz. As she delivered the song at Tuesday’s opening-night show in staccato, syncopated phrases, the George Mesterhazy Quartet injected it with Afro-Cuban heat. Her dark clotted voice transformed a carefree hippie strut celebrating changing fashion into an ominous reflection on the relentless drive of history. This is it, it’s now or never, get ready, she implied; heavy turbulence lies ahead.

"Later in the show Bob Dylan’s 1964 anthem, “The Times They Are A-Changin’” picked up the theme. As Ms. West bore down on the prophetic lyrics, images flashed to mind of an emerging topsy-turvy order in which hierarchies are reversed and bankrupt financiers and corrupt politicians find themselves either in prison or on the streets.")

Do go. Soon as you can.

Sean Steps Up

With a heartfelt acceptance speech, Sean Penn said to hundreds of millions of people something virtually all of them know, but most of them don't want to admit: that full civil equality for GLBT people is coming, and that those who fight equality today will one day be held in the same low esteem that we now hold those who worked to continue slavery or hold back women's suffrage or deny voting rights.

"For those who saw the signs of hatred as our cars drove in tonight, I think it’s a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the great shame in their grandchildren’s eyes..."

Penn, in his usual direct manner, skipped the niceties and called a bigot a bigot. Basically, he is saying if you don't recognize the wrongness of your thinking soon enough, you will one day look back on this fight with terrible regret that you chose the side you did. And if you don't, your descendants will.

He's going to catch some hell for this -- but not as much hell as those who stand against equality will catch when the guilt over the pain and suffering they have helped cause finally catches up to them.

A Workable Compromise

In today's New York Times, David Blankenhorn and Jonathan Rauch -- two writers on opposite sides of the same-sex marriage debate -- have come to a compromise. Their suggestion: create federal civil unions that give equal federal level benefits (Social Security survivor benefits, tax-free inheritance, etc.), yet allow religious organizations to refuse to recognize these unions. I'm not sure I like the idea of legalized discrimination for organizations simply because they believe there is an invisible superbeing who supports their position, but I think the federal rights are so important we ought to claim them via whatever avenue provides them.

Money quote: "In all sharp moral disagreements, maximalism is the constant temptation. People dig in, positions harden and we tend to convince ourselves that our opponents are not only wrong-headed but also malicious and acting in bad faith. In such conflicts, it can seem not only difficult, but also wrong, to compromise on a core belief. But clinging to extremes can also be quite dangerous. In the case of gay marriage, a scorched-earth debate, pitting what some regard as nonnegotiable religious freedom against what others regard as a nonnegotiable human right, would do great harm to our civil society."

"The Music Man" in Ashland

Theater fans who travel to Ashland, Oregon usually make the journey for a fix of Shakespeare, as the charming town in the southern part of the state is home to the oldest (and perhaps best) Shakespeare festival in the country. Sitting under the stars in their outdoor theater, a mostly faithful recreation of The Globe, where many of the Bard's plays were originally staged, taking in one of the classics, is a delightful way to spend a warm summer evening.

But in February the outdoor stage is closed, and the Ashland festival stages its offerings in its indoor venues, the largest of which is the Angus Bowmer Theater. I remember the Bowmer from several high school field trips. It's where I saw "Oedipus Rex" and "Waiting for Godot" (which I still don't fully grok).

Although I travel semi-regularly to Ashland to visit family, I don't often attend festival offerings. In the summer it's hard to get good seats, and much of what they stage I've already seen in New York. And to be honest, though the OSF is a solid festival, I've never been overly impressed. (But I'm hard to please.)

But when Devin and I decided to take a few days of her mid-winter break to head north and visit Mom, I checked the OSF schedule and saw that "The Music Man" would be up one of the nights we were there. "The Music Man" is one of my favorite musicals, and though I had recently seen a production of it on Broadway in New York, I decided to take a chance.

And how glad I am I did. This new production is absolutely delightful. Though I have some quibbles with the show (primarily the orchestra, which is tiny and its playing a touch sloppy), I had a terrific evening. It's easily the funniest version of the show I've ever seen. Richard Elmore, who plays Mayor Shinn, is the best Mayor Shinn I've ever seen, and that includes Paul Ford, who played the role in the movie. Elmore has simply brilliant comic timing. In fact the whole production is working well -- which is surprising since the night I saw the show was only the second performance of the run!

Director Bill Rauch's take on the production is that conman Harold Hill brings life and vitality not just to the life of Marian the Librarian, but to the entire town of River City. At the top of the show, everything is in black and white -- even the flags, even though it's the Fourth of July -- except for Harold Hill's coat. By the time the band plays at the end, everyone is technicolor -- though it takes Mayor Shinn longer to loosen up than anyone else in town.

Highly recommended.

Two notes in closing. First, though I generally don't have too much trouble with color-blind casting, an African-American Marion Paroo took a bit of getting used to, especially since, in the original, Marion is Irish. I just decided she was black Irish.

Second, I found it interesting to note that when Harold Hill comes to town and is looking for a way to frighten the townsfolk to convince them that they need his boys' band to keep the young folk under control, he inveigles the citizens to see the pool table as a tool of the devil. That's not the interesting part; I've known that since the first time I saw the show as a boy. What's interesting was being reminded that when you want to frighten someone -- and there is no logical reason they should be frightened -- the best way to do so is to invoke God and morality. After all, there's no logical, reasonable response to such an indictment.

Equality is clearly NOT the point

As I have mentioned before, it seems the folks opposed to marriage equality have a problem with more than just the use of the word "marriage." Throughout the debate over Proposition 8, its supporters often claimed they had no problem with treating people equally, they simply felt "marriage" should be reserved for man-woman relationships.

That is, until it actually comes time to extend anything even close to equality to same-sex couples. A group in Utah, Common Ground, after hearing all the protestations from same-sex marriage foes that they don't oppose equal rights, took the haters at their word and introduced five bills in the Utah State legislature to attempt to provide some measure of civil equality for gay and lesbian couples. However, even the most benign of the five, the one that would allow for equal hospital visitation rights for a same-sex partner was shot down in committee before it could even come up for a vote.

The opposition apparently complained the legislation was unnecessary and was simply an end-around attempt to drag the state into legalizing gay marriage.

It's clear, at least to me, that the neanderthals that cling to religion as a bulwark against the complexity and confusion of real life have no interest in allowing equal treatment of people they think are "objectively disordered" (to use the Catholic Church's term). They live in another century. Fortunately, they are dying off. Perhaps not as fast as I might like, but hey, I'm patient. The next generation understands that sexuality is no more a choice and no more changeable than handedness. The recalcitrance and fear of the crazy faithful will soon backfire on them. As Dr. King said, "the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice."

Perhaps when people see how truly bigoted and fearful those most opposed to marriage equality are, the more fair-minded among them may be able to get past their own hesitation and support true equality.